Here Comes the Fear

I’ve been freaking out a little.  All of my things are gone, I don’t have a place to live, and I’m asking myself what the hell I was thinking.  Fear is reigning supreme and the thoughts running through my mind are things like, “What if I run out of money? What if I never get any new clients? What if I get really lonely? What if I get sick?  What if I get hurt?  What if I end up homeless? (which technically I already am, lol) What if I can’t get back in the country?”  

Every fear I could ever have is coming up right now and it feels so strange.  I am generally a happy optimistic person, so all of the fear is concerning to me.  But I remind myself that this is all normal.  It’s our mind’s way of keeping us safe.  Our brain wants to keep us alive, so anything that takes us away from our community or our comfort zone is considered dangerous.  Luckily, in this day and age we are always connected and help is a short phone call away.

Living authentically, doing something that isn’t considered “normal” can bring up all of the fears, but facing fear is what takes away its power.  Once the fears came up I looked at them logically and had a few talks with friends and family.  Afterwards, I felt an overwhelming sense of peace.  I know deep down that this is what I want to do and that it’s right for me.  What do I have to lose?  Absolutely nothing.  

This idea that there is one way to live life is ridiculous.  I’ve been thinking a lot lately about all of the “rules” I learned while growing up.  I’ve come to the conclusion that most of them were made up.  The things that would be considered horrible or shocking if you did them when I was young, people are doing on the regular now.  And why was it considered so “bad” anyway?  (I’m not talking murder, think tattoos or deciding not to get married:))

This is YOUR life to do whatever you want with it, have whatever experiences you want to.  Just because you are living differently, doesn’t make it wrong.  You are the only one who can say that you are living in the “right” way because it is deeply personal.  It’s whatever is right for you, not for the collective.  

Helen Keller once said, “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.”  I’m choosing my daring adventure.  I hope you will choose yours. ♥️